I finally had some time to post the story about how we met, and of course, us getting married at three months :) Keep in mind this is from my point of view, and eventually Tristan will post his version :)
As corny as it sounds, our communication started on facebook. I can't really recall when we became 'friends'...I'm thinking 2009. I usually don't friend people I've never met, but my bff/our mutual friend, Esther, kept telling me I needed to meet this guy...for a while now.... She said, "He's so funny, and Breezy, he DJs...you love that!". Oh how she knows me so well :)
I didn't think much of it since I was seeing someone else at the time, and I've always told myself what is meant to be will be, and to just let things happen they way they do. June 2010 I really started paying attention, and for some reason I guess Tristan did, too, and the communication started. We didn't have each others phone numbers, and just talked via email & facebook. The one thing I liked about that was (well, 1 it was driving me insane, in a good way, not hearing his voice & he's so damn smart he probably knew that Lol) he could actually keep with me talking from, what I call, A-F...not A to B onto C...but all over the place. I just talk about whatever is on my mind at the moment (pretty sure I get that from my Mom;)...and I'll be damned...it didn't scare him away....neither did all the quirks I shared with him. At the end of the week, he finally asked for my number. Geeeeez...thanks...JK ;)
I guess you can say I asked him out?....He had mentioned he might have a gig in Memphis that weekend, and I just invited myself...which is super strange for me. Not sure where those kahunas came from, but I'm glad they appeared :D He ended up not going to Memphis, so he & Sean (our sweet stepson;) met up with Yoli & I at Cajuns. Yoli & I had been dancing literally all night...it was peek Summer heat...so you can imagine how glowing we were with slicked back ponytails. No lie...from that night we had a connection that I had never once felt in my life. I can say that at 30 because I had been married...and I'll say it again...not once have I ever had that connection. We ended up hanging out the next night, and then all of us (Tristan, Sean, Yoli & Chrystl) went to Hot Springs for 4th of July Weekend (with many other visitors through out the weekend, but mainly it was us spontaneous five).
We haven't been to our lake house is a crazy long time, and it was being renovated at the moment, so ALL of the things that were in two rooms were in the main den area...furniture stacked 6 feet high, and everything you could have ever wished for starting in 1991...so that's why we called it the Wish House. Seriously...my parents keep EVERYTHING! and that weekend we magical Lol :) Back to renovating...so we had one toilet and no shower. Sounds gross? Try 5 days and not blink an eye. It was..hands down...THE greatest weekend EVER..and not just because I feel in love & met my husband (that was of course an amazing part to it;), but we all laughed SO hard that our abs were sore. When you can survive with people you just met...hence the Real World Wish House you might have seen in print...for 5 days, one toilet, one can of Soft & Dry, Skeeball machines, 80s & 90s clothing galore...you get the best weekend ever.
I used to think that Tristan had this cheat sheet of things to say because I had never met someone so understanding & patient. I'd never met someone that genuinely cared about me for me. No underlying intention...and let me say, at now 30, I can finally spot when someone is taking advantage of me. It took for damn ever, but I can see it now...and for the first time I could relax a little, and not be on my tippy toes. That gets so old..always feeling like you have to watch out for yourself & make sure the other person isn't lying...it takes immense energy, and once you realize that its possible for someone to fully unconditionally love you...its the aha-moment.
Anyways...sorry...see A to B is kinda hard for me sometimes....
It took probably 4 days, and we had the marriage talk...laid everything out on the table, every detail possible...and nothing scared him. I say that jokingly a lot, but deep down I'm serious. I realize no one is 'normal', but my family & I are pretty abnormal. As open as I am, there are still plenty of things I will never share (until I write a book...maybe..:), unless its with my closest family, friend or...soul mate. And nothing scared him. And to the exact moment...still..nothing scares him. He never misses a beat about anything, and instead is there for me every single step of the way. I realize sometimes I get on a kick and talk about my feelings..what I haven't said is...in every relationship I've been in I've always been there for the other person, so much that they quite possibly might have not known how to handle that. You know...for some people...it hard to let someone love you, especially when you don't love yourself. Tristan lets me love him, lets me take care of him, and I do the same. For the first time, I can honestly say our relationship is easy...and in my past when it was easy that meant there was a lie going on on the other person's part....for us, we honestly just be. Neither one of us have changed from the first day we met. We compromise on things, yes, but we have not changed. I fell in love for him the way he is, and he fell in love with me for the way I am. SO many of us, including me, have tried to change someone...even the tiniest of bits...and I will be the first to tell ya..its not happenin and its not worth it.
In August we took a trip to Destin with Esther & her family. Esther already knew that we were probably talking marriage, but neither of us wanted to tell her just yet Lol...she kept telling me...let him take you on dates, there's no reason to rush this, I know you adore him, but just try....this is all at the same time we knew we'd get married in October Lol :) I knew on our trip I'd tell her, and I really didn't know how she'd react. But when your best friend has tears in her eyes because she sees how happy you are, and knows deep down this is right, she can be anything but excited :) Next thing I knew she appears with matching t-shirts for us saying, Just Married. I just love Esther Lol :)
We drove to Destin in the jeep, which had no windows, half arse soft top, and no hard top...yes, there were some monsoons on the way there, too, and we loved it...at least I did Lol. As long as the wipers worked we didn't care if we or any of our stuff got soaked. We even purposely got lost in Arkansas just to see where we'd end up...Prosperity Cemetery, outside of Warren, Arkansas ( I know, Warren is no where near on the way to Destin). I remember his brother telling him, if you can survive 12 hours in a jeep with no top, y'all will be just fine. And we were...and are :)
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| Oh, and he also let me shave his head day 1 in Destin. |
One more litte tid bit to our Destin trip...back up to the first week of our relationship as we had the marriage talk...I expressed to him that since we were getting married so soon that it wasn't a priority to get a ring. I'm a Steinmart & Claire's kind of girl...I would rather have a ring from a cracker jack box if I knew the effort was in it (I'm an effort kind of girl...hense the postings of dinners & surprises he fixes me:) So, a couple of weeks later he says I got you a ring, but I'm trying for another. (hmm...trying?) He pulls out this plastic egg shaped thing, and I immediately fill with tears. Yep. He listened. SOMEONE LISTENED! This sweet man spent probably 7 bucks in a gumball machine finding a ring. I could not have been happier, I tell ya! It was funny has hell, too, but THE sweetest thing ever. He then proceeded to tell me he wanted to try for another one...pink this time ;). Then in Destin he whips out another plastic egg looking container...ITS PINK!! All plastic & pink, and one HAPPY breezy! Greatest thing...still to this day...he listened. He truly gets me...and still does.
The two greatest components of our relationship that I've always wanted, but never had are communication & honesty. Those two cover A LOT of areas! I've usually been in situations where if something needs to be discussed I waited until the 'right time' to talk about it. Well, that time is never right...and I am the kind of person that if I hold something in at all I will explode, and Tristan knows that. He's looked me straight in the eye and said, "Don't ever wait 10 minutes to tell me what you're thinking if you need to talk. It only makes you more upset." Seriously?...I mean, I've known that about myself, but for a male to observe that then openly say it to me and MEAN it with sincerity? Its just never happened to me. Most guys would be grateful for a girl not expressing herself. From that moment on I have talked about anything at anytime and my anxieties have tremendously calmed down.
When we decided to get married we knew there was no reason to wait, so we randomly chose a date, and told our family & friends. Originally we picked October 16 and wanted Dad to cook BBQ, and have a surprise wedding...then we opted to just get married before then with less than 15 people, at the court house...simple, sweet, not a big to-do...which we had both 'been there done that' & its not us....hence he wore jeans & a white tee, & the girls had on jeans/pink, etc :)....we wanted to stay true to us. So, October 16 became the celebration/reception, and yes, Dadoo cooked his famous BBQ! I had always told him I wanted his food if I remarried...I said 'if' because I truly had no idea what was to come in my life as I enjoyed living in the moment:) and then...a moment arrived! yeeehawwww :)
You can say we planned the wedding in less than a week, I guess? And there was really no planning. We just knew Friday, October 1, 2:30pm we'd get married and go from there...then the girls jumped in Lol :) SO incredibly sweet of our friends to give us a reception at the Peabody Lobby Bar with wedding petit fors (I can't spell if you haven't noticed Lol), champagne, balloons (Love kid stuff), AND bubbles!! Ahhhhhhh can never have enough bubbles. never :D
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| Our first dance |
So...I never talked about our friends & family's reactions to us getting married...some friends were not surprised at all. Heck, Chrystl told me 4th of July weekend she had a dream we were going to get married, and my Mom listened to me talk about him all the time. She knew. Mama's always know things.. ALL things. It was the conversation with Dad that had me nervous Lol. Not because I can't approach him...but I'm his only child, and a daughter...and I've been through a TON of sh!t in our life, so of course...I'm nervous. Dad still jokes to this day...before this conversation there had been 3 times I said to him, "Dad, I need to tell you something"...1. My first tattoo, 2. I'm getting a boob job, 3. I'm getting a divorce...pretty much every nightmare a Dad can think of Lol...so of course he thought this conversation was that I was pregnant. The look on his face when I prefaced it with I'm not pregnant...was the greatest...because he was so confused Lol (sorry Dad, but that look was priceless!). He was so relieved that I was getting married. And let me just add...my parents have emotionally supported me through everything imaginable...and if I was to ever get pregnant I would have never been 'afraid' to tell them. I just wanted to clear that up :) And since 99.9% of people assumed that's why we got married so quickly. So what if I was, so what if that happened to others...let things happen the way they are...just let it be :) Sorry...there goes A-B again....Back to tell family & friends...I then invited my closest girl friends over to the house, which rarely happens with our schedule & the fact that I have friends in all areas, so its not often we are all together...I'm pretty sure they knew something was up, except Brittany maybe Lol...sorry, B, to call you out~but your look on your face when I said I'm getting married was THE funniest thing! I truly think B thought we were all just having a girls night +Tristan LOL :)
I've thrown some curve balls at my family & friends my entire life, and to have their support & trust in us means more than anything. I cry typing this because I don't know what I'd do without my friends & family. I love each and every one of you more than you'll ever know!
I feel like I'm forgetting something to write about, and then again, I feel like I need to wrap this up...so...a few breezy~isms to leave you with...
one of the greatest things a wise friend told me was, you set yourself up for how you want to be treated in a relationship...That was one of my biggest aha-moments. EVER. By no means am I at fault for getting treating like sh!t, but if we allow ourselves to stay in it or allow that person to do something once or even twice to us, it gives them the ok to do it again. Since that conversation I have not let anyone step on me, and if they do, I'm out. End of story.
Its amazing how therapeutic laughter is. If I didn't laugh every day I'd loose my mind (worse than I already have).
Everything happens for a reason. Some things don't happen for a reason.
I wouldn't change one thing in my life..every crappy, happy, sorrow, mistake, tear, blood, you name it..it all led me to this exact moment. I'd do it all over again if I knew it led me to Tristan. Every stinkin bit of it.
So, that's a bit of our story. I'm pretty sure I forgot something & it'll either pop up in Tristan's edition or another of mine in the future :)
Its off to play with the pups before Sunday yoga begins...
Love & Hugs,
Breezy Osborne-Wingfield
PS I would marry someone that every time I spell his last name I have to say to myself...I before E except after C.
