Sunday, June 19, 2011

Our little family

Halloween 2010

Dadoo often asks, 'How's the little family?'...meaning Loxie, Buddy, Tristan & I :)

Race for the Cure 2010

One year ago I dropped Loxie off at the Canine Country Club for puppy daycare, and as I drove away down Highway 10 in front of Joe T Robinson school I saw this mini horse looking animal galloping with the flow of traffic east bound (the lane I'm in). So of course my animal loving self pulls over and not even thinking if this dog was aggressive or not...opened my door, and after he lovingly jumped onto the hood of my car with his front paws he jumps OVER me and plops down in the passenger seat like, 'Man, what took you so long?'. 

Come to find out...his owner had nine dogs and didn't want Buddy. Bluntly said he didn't want him back. At first I was so mad, but then realized how happy I actually was...We had a new baby! :)

That day Buddy joined Loxie, and they have been BFF's!

 (don't let Loxie's sweet lil grin fool ya...she is a CrAzYYYY pup!)

I'm a HUGE believe that things happen for a reason....about a week later Tristan and I started communicating, and about a week after that he met Buddy & Loxie. I truly believe that Buddy & Tristan were meant to be. I've never seen an animal more loving & excited to see its owner. Buddy literally lays on top of him whether its the couch, in bed...he just can't get close enough to his sweet Mama & Daddy :) Lol. 

We still don't really know how old Buddy is. Some days we think 2 or 3, others maybe 4 or so...we don't like to see how much gray hairs & beard he keeps growing....

 Happy One Year, Buddy! Happy you are in our lives :)

Latest conversation between Buddy & Tristan
Tris: Buddy,  look at those lil teeth. We can get you a braces or puppy retainer. They make those ya know....
Buddy: yeah
Tris: Straight teeth could help you when Loxie tries to bite your face. 
** all while Loxie chews on Buddy, and then decides to lick & bite all over Tristan

PS I DO realize that I am one of those people that post obscene amounts of pictures of their dogs~And I'm dang proud of it ;D

Sunday, January 16, 2011

...and it went a little sumthin like this

I finally had some time to post the story about how we met, and of course, us getting married at three months :) Keep in mind this is from my point of view, and eventually Tristan will post his version :)

As corny as it sounds, our communication started on facebook. I can't really recall when we became 'friends'...I'm thinking 2009. I usually don't friend people I've never met, but my bff/our mutual friend, Esther, kept telling me I needed to meet this guy...for a while now.... She said, "He's so funny, and Breezy, he love that!". Oh how she knows me so well :)

I didn't think much of it since I was seeing someone else at the time, and I've always told myself what is meant to be will be, and to just let things happen they way they do. June 2010 I really started paying attention, and for some reason I guess Tristan did, too, and the communication started. We didn't have each others phone numbers, and just talked via email & facebook. The one thing I liked about that was (well, 1 it was driving me insane, in a good way, not hearing his voice & he's so damn smart he probably knew that Lol) he could actually keep with me talking from, what I call, A-F...not A to B onto C...but all over the place. I just talk about whatever is on my mind at the moment (pretty sure I get that from my Mom;)...and I'll be didn't scare him away....neither did all the quirks I shared with him. At the end of the week, he finally asked for my number. Geeeeez...thanks...JK ;)

I guess you can say I asked him out?....He had mentioned he might have a gig in Memphis that weekend, and I just invited myself...which is super strange for me. Not sure where those kahunas came from, but I'm glad they appeared :D He ended up not going to Memphis, so he & Sean (our sweet stepson;) met up with Yoli & I at Cajuns. Yoli & I had been dancing literally all was peek Summer you can imagine how glowing we were with slicked back ponytails. No lie...from that night we had a connection that I had never once felt in my life. I can say that at 30 because I had been married...and I'll say it again...not once have I ever had that connection. We ended up hanging out the next night, and then all of us (Tristan, Sean, Yoli & Chrystl) went to Hot Springs for 4th of July Weekend (with many other visitors through out the weekend, but mainly it was us spontaneous five).

We haven't been to our lake house is a crazy long time, and it was being renovated at the moment, so ALL of the things that were in two rooms were in the main den stacked 6 feet high, and everything you could have ever wished for starting in that's why we called it the Wish House. parents keep EVERYTHING! and that weekend we magical Lol :) Back to we had one toilet and no shower. Sounds gross? Try 5 days and not blink an eye. It was..hands down...THE greatest weekend EVER..and not just because I feel in love & met my husband (that was of course an amazing part to it;), but we all laughed SO hard that our abs were sore. When you can survive with people you just met...hence the Real World Wish House you might have seen in print...for 5 days, one toilet, one can of Soft & Dry, Skeeball machines, 80s & 90s clothing get the best weekend ever.

I used to think that Tristan had this cheat sheet of things to say because I had never met someone so understanding & patient. I'd never met someone that genuinely cared about me for me. No underlying intention...and let me say, at now 30, I can finally spot when someone is taking advantage of me. It took for damn ever, but I can see it now...and for the first time I could relax a little, and not be on my tippy toes. That gets so old..always feeling like you have to watch out for yourself & make sure the other person isn't takes immense energy, and once you realize that its possible for someone to fully unconditionally love you...its the aha-moment.

Anyways...sorry...see A to B is kinda hard for me sometimes....

It took probably 4 days, and we had the marriage talk...laid everything out on the table, every detail possible...and nothing scared him. I say that jokingly a lot, but deep down I'm serious. I realize no one is 'normal', but my family & I are pretty abnormal. As open as I am, there are still plenty of things I will never share (until I write a book...maybe..:), unless its with my closest family, friend or...soul mate. And nothing scared him. And to the exact moment...still..nothing scares him. He never misses a beat about anything, and instead is there for me every single step of the way. I realize sometimes I get on a kick and talk about my feelings..what I haven't said every relationship I've been in I've always been there for the other person, so much that they quite possibly might have not known how to handle that. You know...for some hard to let someone love you, especially when you don't love yourself. Tristan lets me love him, lets me take care of him, and I do the same. For the first time, I can honestly say our relationship is easy...and in my past when it was easy that meant there was a lie going on on the other person's part....for us, we honestly just be. Neither one of us have changed from the first day we met. We compromise on things, yes, but we have not changed. I fell in love for him the way he is, and he fell in love with me for the way I am. SO many of us, including me, have tried to change someone...even the tiniest of bits...and I will be the first to tell ya..its not happenin and its not worth it.

In August we took a trip to Destin with Esther & her family.  Esther already knew that we were probably talking marriage, but neither of us wanted to tell her just yet Lol...she kept telling me...let him take you on dates, there's no reason to rush this, I know you adore him, but just try....this is all at the same time we knew we'd get married in October Lol :) I knew on our trip I'd tell her, and I really didn't know how she'd react. But when your best friend has tears in her eyes because she sees how happy you are, and knows deep down this is right, she can be anything but excited :) Next thing I knew she appears with matching t-shirts for us saying, Just Married. I just love Esther Lol :)

We drove to Destin in the jeep, which had no windows, half arse soft top, and no hard top...yes, there were some monsoons on the way there, too, and we loved least I did Lol. As long as the wipers worked we didn't care if we or any of our stuff got soaked. We even purposely got lost in Arkansas just to see where we'd end up...Prosperity Cemetery, outside of Warren, Arkansas ( I know, Warren is no where near on the way to Destin). I remember his brother telling him, if you can survive 12 hours in a jeep with no top, y'all will be just fine. And we were...and are :)

Oh, and he also let me shave his head day 1 in Destin.
One more litte tid bit to our Destin trip...back up to the first week of our relationship as we had the marriage talk...I expressed to him that since we were getting married so soon that it wasn't a priority to get a ring. I'm a Steinmart & Claire's kind of girl...I would rather have a ring from a cracker jack box if I knew the effort was in it (I'm an effort kind of girl...hense the postings of dinners & surprises he fixes me:) So, a couple of weeks later he says I got you a ring, but I'm trying for another. (hmm...trying?) He pulls out this plastic egg shaped thing, and I immediately fill with tears. Yep. He listened. SOMEONE LISTENED! This sweet man spent probably 7 bucks in a gumball machine finding a ring. I could not have been happier, I tell ya! It was funny has hell, too, but THE sweetest thing ever. He then proceeded to tell me he wanted to try for another this time ;). Then in Destin he whips out another plastic egg looking container...ITS PINK!! All plastic & pink, and one HAPPY breezy! Greatest thing...still to this day...he listened. He truly gets me...and still does.

The two greatest components of our relationship that I've always wanted, but never had are communication & honesty. Those two cover A LOT of areas! I've usually been in situations where if something needs to be discussed I waited until the 'right time' to talk about it. Well, that time is never right...and I am the kind of person that if I hold something in at all I will explode, and Tristan knows that. He's looked me straight in the eye and said, "Don't ever wait 10 minutes to tell me what you're thinking if you need to talk. It only makes you more upset." Seriously?...I mean, I've known that about myself, but for a male to observe that then openly say it to me and MEAN it with sincerity? Its just never happened to me. Most guys would be grateful for a girl not expressing herself.  From that moment on I have talked about anything at anytime and my anxieties have tremendously calmed down.

When we decided to get married we knew there was no reason to wait, so we randomly chose a date, and told our family & friends. Originally we picked October 16 and wanted Dad to cook BBQ, and have a surprise wedding...then we opted to just get married before then with less than 15 people, at the court house...simple, sweet, not a big to-do...which we had both 'been there done that' & its not us....hence he wore jeans & a white tee, & the girls had on jeans/pink, etc :)....we wanted to stay true to us. So, October 16 became the celebration/reception, and yes, Dadoo cooked his famous BBQ! I had always told him I wanted his food if I remarried...I said 'if' because I truly had no idea what was to come in my life as I enjoyed living in the moment:) and then...a moment arrived! yeeehawwww :)

You can say we planned the wedding in less than a week, I guess? And there was really no planning. We just knew Friday, October 1, 2:30pm we'd get married and go from there...then the girls jumped in Lol :) SO incredibly sweet of our friends to give us a reception at the Peabody Lobby Bar with wedding petit fors (I can't spell if you haven't noticed Lol), champagne, balloons (Love kid stuff), AND bubbles!! Ahhhhhhh can never have enough bubbles. never :D
Our first dance

So...I never talked about our friends & family's reactions to us getting married...some friends were not surprised at all. Heck, Chrystl told me 4th of July weekend she had a dream we were going to get married, and my Mom listened to me talk about him all the time. She knew. Mama's always know things.. ALL things. It was the conversation with Dad that had me nervous Lol. Not because I can't approach him...but I'm his only child, and a daughter...and I've been through a TON of sh!t in our life, so of course...I'm nervous. Dad still jokes to this day...before this conversation there had been 3 times I said to him, "Dad, I need to tell you something"...1. My first tattoo, 2. I'm getting a boob job, 3. I'm getting a divorce...pretty much every nightmare a Dad can think of of course he thought this conversation was that I was pregnant. The look on his face when I prefaced it with I'm not pregnant...was the greatest...because he was so confused Lol (sorry Dad, but that look was priceless!). He was so relieved that I was getting married. And let me just parents have emotionally supported me through everything imaginable...and if I was to ever get pregnant I would have never been 'afraid' to tell them. I just wanted to clear that up :) And since 99.9% of people assumed that's why we got married so quickly. So what if I was, so what if that happened to others...let things happen the way they are...just let it be :) Sorry...there goes A-B again....Back to tell family & friends...I then invited my closest girl friends over to the house, which rarely happens with our schedule & the fact that I have friends in all areas, so its not often we are all together...I'm pretty sure they knew something was up, except Brittany maybe Lol...sorry, B, to call you out~but your look on your face when I said I'm getting married was THE funniest thing! I truly think B thought we were all just having a girls night +Tristan LOL :)

I've thrown some curve balls at my family & friends my entire life, and to have their support & trust in us means more than anything. I cry typing this because I don't know what I'd do without my friends & family. I love each and every one of you more than you'll ever know!

I feel like I'm forgetting something to write about, and then again, I feel like I need to wrap this few breezy~isms to leave you with...
one of the greatest things a wise friend told me was, you set yourself up for how you want to be treated in a relationship...That was one of my biggest aha-moments. EVER. By no means am I at fault for getting treating like sh!t, but if we allow ourselves to stay in it or allow that person to do something once or even twice to us, it gives them the ok to do it again. Since that conversation I have not let anyone step on me, and if they do, I'm out. End of story.
Its amazing how therapeutic laughter is. If I didn't laugh every day I'd loose my mind (worse than I already have).
Everything happens for a reason. Some things don't happen for a reason.
I wouldn't change one thing in my life..every crappy, happy, sorrow, mistake, tear, blood, you name all led me to this exact moment. I'd do it all over again if I knew it led me to Tristan. Every stinkin bit of it.

So, that's a bit of our story. I'm pretty sure I forgot something & it'll either pop up in Tristan's edition or another of mine in the future :)

Its off to play with the pups before Sunday yoga begins...
Love & Hugs,
Breezy Osborne-Wingfield

PS I would marry someone that every time I spell his last name I have to say to myself...I before E except after C.

Monday, November 15, 2010

....sweet lover....

I don't pretend to be a reader. I love to read, but it takes me a LONG time to comprehend what I just read...sometimes rereading it....until I find something that interests me :)

As corny as it sounds, I love Chicken Soup for the Soul books. I bought Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul a few years ago, and never had the urge to open it. Its been by my bedside for years, and after we married, I had a craving to read it...not from page 1 though...I gotta skip around ;)

First page I opened up to couldn't be more true, and real, so I had to share it. Its the greatest explanation of intimacy I've ever heard...and the way I've always described it to others. I knew this true intimacy existed, and never fully felt it until I met my sweet husband....

Chapter: Love & Intimacy
What Does It Mean to Be a Lover?

"Presence is more than just being there." Malcolm Forbes

What does it mean to be a lover? It is more than just being married to or making love to someone. Millions of people are married, millions of people have sex~but few are real lovers. To be a real lover, you must commit to and participate in a perpetual dance of intimacy with your partner.

You are a lover when you appreciate the gift that your partner is, and celebrate that gift every day.

You are a lover when you remember that your partner does not belong to you~he or she is on loan from the universe.

You are a lover when you realize that nothing that happens between you will be insignificant, that everything you say in the relationship has the potential to cause your beloved joy or sorrow, and everything you do will either strengthen your connection or weaken it.

You are a lover when you understand all this, and thus wake up each morning filled with gratitude that you have another day in which to love and enjoy your partner. 

When you have a lover in your life, you are richly blessed. You have been given the gift of another person who has chose to walk beside you.  He or she will share your days and your nights, your bed and your burdens.  Your lover will see secret parts of you that no one else sees. He or she will touch places on your body that one else touches. Your lover will seek you out where you have been hiding, and create a haven for you within safe, loving arms.

Your lover offers you an abundance of miracles every day. He has the power to delight you with his smile, his voice, the scent of his neck, and the way he moves. She has the power to banish your loneliness. He has the power to turn the ordinary into the sublime. She is your doorway to heaven here on earth.

~Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D

The first time I read this I cried. Every stinking example/experience is true...and possible!

Happy early Birthday to the person that can make me laugh when I'm crying, smile when I'm sad, help me take care of our zoo-like pups (not get mad when Loxie eats your shoes), surprises me with random I love you's, doesn't complain about the 2.5 sqft of bed he has to himself, cooks me food (and remembers my food allergies), stops by the studio just to say hi, help me apply fake tan, watches How to Train Your Dragon with me, and most of all...loves unconditionally. I love you more than chocolate & peanut butter, AND more than you'll ever know!
I'm so happy you were born!
(*PS that's exactly what is engraved inside his wedding band: I <3 you more than chocolate & pb)
Breezy Osborne-Wingfield

Our Wedding Day~Friday, October 1, 2010

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"I'm a romantic adrenaline junkie".....

I am. I can't hide it. I'm proud of it. Jessica Biel said it best, "I'm a romantic adrenaline junkie."

Tonight I walk in the door after work to a surprise that brought tears to my eyes....
dinner~candles~wine~PINK flowers 

I wish I could have captured the look on my face because I'm sure it was a sight to see. Do I stare at the table, or do I hug Tristan uncontrollably saying Thank You?! Pretty sure I did both. 

For those of you that know me, you know that I'm extremely detailed. I take in to account effort, thought & generosity....well?...the detail & effort behind every inch of this evening puts the biggest smile on my face and warms my heart! 

I finally realize what it means to be loved unconditionally....

Lots of Love to my best friend...I can't thank you enough for being you!

PS This is the first time anyone has ever made me dinner....

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Trampoline stargazing, forearms, chocolate & lots a love

The only person that’s ever made me speechless? Tristan.

I can usually type or talk for hours...but when it comes to writing this first blog entry? I’ve had this window open for over four hours.

Within the first few days of us dating, I asked him if he had notes written somewhere, or a book he was reading from. Literally. I’ve never known a person to be so honest, upfront, willing to communicate, and most of all...get me. I find myself a pretty simple person with a few quirks :) but can completely understand how I’m perceived as complex.  Many of the things I do aren’t ‘normal’, but wouldn’t have it any other way! (Remember: there’s no such thing as normal;)

For the past year, my bff~Esther, has tried to get Tristan & I to meet in person (keeping in mind we’ve been facebook friends;). 

We did happen to shake hands at a Razorback game last year, and I remember taking the picture of him & Hunter, and Tristan commenting how big his forearm was LOL. Yes, I seriously did laugh out loud. 

Little did I know that I’d be laughing every day when we started ‘talking’. THE funniest person I’ve ever to my Dadoo...Dadoo has made me giggle 30 years and I can still hear his weezy belly laugh over the phone, laughing at his own jokes with me LOL.

Tristan grew up with Esther’s husband, Hunter...I can now say to myself, ‘Why did I never listen to my best friend?’. I mean...what more could you ask for when meeting someone...when your bff fully trusts someone AND knows every single detail about your life?!  Everything happens for a reason, and some things don’t happen for a reason. I believe people come in and out of our lives at the most perfect times, even if we don’t realize at the moment the reasoning. Everything & everyone is hear to teach us something. Would Tristan & I had worked out if we started dating before now? Who knows. I DO know that he was placed in my life at the most perfect time. I can’t thank him enough for everything he’s done for me, and just being there, being him. That means the world to me :)

As corny as this sounds, the first ‘move’ was basically made on facebook. Oh that dang social networking! It worked :) I’d like to say I made the first move, but actually his random sweet comments about us stargazing from the trampoline & taking notice of my music posts was probably the first move (it caught my eye) ....but...because its a staple in our relationship, here is a thread of ours from facebook: Teach Me How to Dougie

Breezy: So...can you teach me how to Dougie, too?
Tristan: Of course I can teach you how to Dougie...I can teach you how to Dougie while rollerblading!
Breezy: Ahh hell. Go ahead and bring a helmet & ace bandage.
Tristan: Actually if you think about it, learning to rollerblade would actually look a lot like you were doing the Dougie... Picture it: "put your hands out front and lean from side to side" ahahahahahaha
Breezy: Omg. I just snorted & laughed singing it aloud Lol. Ok. I'll bring the knee pads. This is starting to scare me Hahaha
Tristan: ahahahahaha
Tristan: Oh and name the time and place, bring your padding, and I'll have you on wheels in no time!
Breezy: The ONLY bone I've ever broke was rollerskating (that's why I didn’t skate at Esther's party)! I might just rent a sumo wrestler costume for padding;) Ok...I'll figure out a time & day....
Breezy: I'm def from the that supposed to be broken or broke? Lol. PS...when do you spin again? You do Sundays?

In other can say Teach Me How to Dougie is our song ;) teehehehe

There’s something to be said about being able to have a conversation with someone about anything...anything you can think of~grass being purple, music, computers, ice, peeing in the shower, its limitless.  There’s also something beautiful about just being with someone in silence. Its the best of both worlds if you ask me. 

Something about me...I'll never ask for anything, and if I do, there's a damn good reason and I'm at my wits end...but at the same time, I don't want to be what I call forgotten. I'm an affectionate & sensual person, love love love the silliest of things, and crave chocolate constantly.
For example...the sweetest man I know put dark chocolate in my nightstand while in Florida. Its the little things that mean the be remembered! I mean...every time he goes to a gas station, grocery store, Walmart, etc...he gets me something...usually dark chocolate :) my girlie magazines, or like today? A variety of soups from Whole Foods after I had dental work~numb, fat lip, drooling and not able to say my B's. Oh and he hammers the nails in the back porch & fixed the 3ft wind chimes. I've never had anyone that just does things for me, and thinks of me, thinks ahead, thinks of us...its the most incredible feeling ever. 

And also...he loves the pups! They adore him :) Those of you that know me know that I'm obsessed with animals! Pick up strays every chance I get (including Buddy, our lab:).

The most important quality I've searched for that is the most difficult to find...that Tristan has? 
I can trust him.  

How's all that for being speechless? 

Thank you for being in my life, sharing our lives, and most of all, for being you!
I love & adore you with all of my heart!

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd.....Esther, I can't thank you enough for introducing us!! I love you :)